Do I start with a contemplative quote, a heart jarring lyrical verse, a revelatory scripture from the Bible, or do I try to be witty to garner your attention?
These were my thoughts as I was getting ready to write this post. But, I have tossed away any ambitions of composing an ornate intro. Rather, I will start with my simple, yet true thoughts…
I am Malaika King—just call me Malaika—- and this is my very first blog post.
As I am now 25, I am facing some internal and external challenges I need to overcome— some new, most of them old.
When it comes to my internal challenges, the question is not where do I start—it is where do they end?
I take the risk of sounding cliche, but I have been struggling with depression, ADHD, anxiety and the feeling of incompetency.
At the end of everyday, there is this nagging and persistent thought always tapping on my shoulder—that I am not the woman that God has ordained me to be. In fact, not a day has passed when I do not feel subpar and incompetent. I can only describe it as a constant feeling of thorough dissapointment in myself.
If a week goes by without me having an internal melt-down or pouring out in tears, I consider that a victory. It pains me to think that I am sleeping, crying, and throwing away my life.
As long as I can remember, I have been running away from myself. Now, I do not even know who I am. Maybe its time I renew my mind and become myself.
Cue in the quotes after all….
“There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world–because you realize there’s so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on”
I have been stuck for so long…too long. This is where I turn the page and a new chapter begins.
I will be writing and sharing my thoughts, experiences, and lessons through posts, poems, and photography (well…”iOS photography” for now—-good old iphone).
My journey is about being a woman after God’s own heart. About becoming my most authentic self. About living a beautiful, giving, joyful, and full life. My journey to becoming Malaika begins here…
Lord, you have examined me
and know all about me.
2 You know when I sit down and when I get up.
You know my thoughts before I think them.
3 You know where I go and where I lie down.
You know everything I do.
4 Lord, even before I say a word,
you already know it.
5 You are all around me—in front and in back—
and have put your hand on me.
6 Your knowledge is amazing to me;
it is more than I can understand.
Psalm 139: 1-6
I would love to hear your thoughts….are you starting a new chapter of your life too?